Life Transitions, 5 steps for creatives building a new direction.

 So Life has changed. The career path you were on is ending, the kids are grown and no longer need you all the time, the divorce has done its upheaval. Whatever the reason for the change, you are in a place of having to rethink who you are and what you are "supposed" to be doing with your life, time, creative energy. 

Maybe you have done the counseling work to address some grief and self-doubt that comes with this kind of change. But now what? How do you sort out and reconfigure your life path when that other thing has been the major focus of your identity for so long?

You want to stay true to your life purpose and what you have to offer the world, but everything is confusing in the upheaval.

If you are a creative, you probably have too many ideas. One day you are ready to start your own floral business, the next week that has lost steam and you are looking at following that old vision of teaching in the inner city, or what would happen if you took your art more seriously, could you make a living with it? And if you did focus more on your creative passion, what would it look like, who would it serve?

Whatever the fantasies are they can get technicolor and stunning very quickly, but then kind of disintegrate and leave you feeling like you may never get anywhere.

It can be a roller coaster and not in a good way! I know I took that ride, and honestly it was not easy. If you have been following me for a while you know that I used to be a college professor. As much as I loved teaching and learned an enormous amount from it, I saw the writing on the wall- my career in academia was ending and I needed to find another direction. It was a hard time. And I am deeply grateful to the coach that I had during that time.

The good news is that it is possible to find the new direction that is just as satisfying and true to you, and not only that, all the experience you had doing whatever you were doing for all those years, it matters! It has become part of the mosaic of who you are and what you have to offer the world. You have skills and wisdom and interests and connections that will serve you well.

So what does it take to forge a new path and how do you do it? 
For most of us it is not an overnight turn around.

The first step is to buckle your seat belt- by which I mean take the time to create a place of safety for yourself.

• look at your finances and make adjustments so that you are not going to be panicked about money all the time- you really cannot build a new direction if you are stressed financially.  This may mean a temporary job or downsizing expectations. Get stable financially so that you can work from a place of  confidence.
• consider your support- the people around you.
  • you need folks to play with or hold space with you that is not the major shift- but is a steady on connection that you love being with- a sense of continuity and love.
  • you need at least one person who can listen really well, ask good questions and flow with all the indecision- who has nothing at stake in your decisions and believes in you and wants to see you land where you are going to be happy and fulfill your potential. For me this was a coach because everyone else in my life, as wonderful as they were, had too much at stake- they were panicked for me!
  • You need to continue to give to the world, your friends and family, whoever- you must feel useful. Do not let people say "oh, you have too much to worry about, I am not going to add to your load by sharing my problems". The thing is that you could easily get mired in your own head and it is a great relief to let go of your life for a bit and be with another person. It will give you energy and self worth.
• Self care- yoga, meditation, walking, exercise, play dates, music, art, good books, whatever feels nourishing and restorative to you- make sure you make room for it in your life.  Transitions like this are really challenging and you will need to take good care of yourself through it!

The second step is a kind of inventory. What are your deepest values, what do you enjoy doing, where have you felt most at peace and also most productive or useful. There are a lot of questions here that take you from the sense of loss or failure or fear into a sense of being grounded in your self and your positive qualities and potential. Your dreams need this base of self awareness and belief in the self in order to move from fantasy to reality. If you are working with a coach you will likely spend some time in this with various exercises that will help you find your own wisdom, clarity, identity.

Third is the dreams, though honestly they have probably been swimming around the whole time- so make sure you are jotting them down as they come to you. Every one of those fantasies is important not so much because they might be the one to focus on, but because they show you things about what you are drawn towards, what is important to you, what feels fun. So play in the dreams and notice what you notice about them- pay attention to what it is about running a floral shop that sounds great to you.

Fourth is The decision - clarifying the focus- understanding the direction. Don't rush this! I know it is painful to be in the not knowing and it can be tempting to jump into something because you just need an answer right away. But really, you need to know that the direction you are moving in makes sense on many levels- makes sense to who you are, makes sense in terms of being realistic and doable, and makes sense in a time line that keeps you healthy and strong and dare I say, happy. You will need to make sure that all of the parts of you are in alignment on this in order for you to be able to move forward with it with ease.

Fifth is the manifesting- setting goals, breaking down the steps, taking actions. This is going to be really fun if you have done the earlier steps well. If you have not, you may be undermined by self-doubt and slowed in the muck of internal blocks.

My biggest piece of advice in this transition is to get the help you need to move consciously through the steps and build not just your new direction, but also your sense of empowerment and trust, ease and confidence, so that you can take your creative work out into the world where it is most needed. Find a coach who fits well with you, who feels right, who you can feel safe and comfortable talking to.

If you would like to see if I might be the right coach for you, please book a free initial consultation- Lets talk!

Book a free initial consultation