Getting back to creativity after Netflix?

On July 10th I cancelled my subscription to netflix. My mother laughed when I told her, through tears, that I was binge-ing on Grey's Anatomy. Ok it is not as bad as alcohol or cocaine. Not by a long shot. But I was seeing tell tale signs of real issues. And I want to tell you about it because I want to make sure that you are not getting caught the way I was.

As a creative, I built my life outside the box. It is a patchwork life designed to make it possible for me to continue to make art, support other creatives, and raise a child by myself. It is a risky arrangement in that there is no external structure, like a job, that holds it all together. If I get lazy or uninspired, then things don't happen and opportunities dry up. 

These are some of the things that I had in place to keep me going before the pandemic:

• I taught a couple of in person classes so that I had a sense of being useful to other people and could connect actively to the values of creative pursuits. These classes provided a sense of structure to my week.
• I had some deadlines set up- a gallery show, a craft show and a commission- all of which gave me a sense of purpose in my creative work. Something to work toward. A way to share my creative work so that I did not feel like I was screaming into the darkness.
• My daughter went to school during the school year and camp over the summer. This made it possible for me to focus intensively on my creative work, on building my business and on connecting well in my classes and groups. I knew that she was getting valuable connection to others and was learning things that I could not have taught her. And I knew that I could be more present with her when she was back because I had had time for myself.
• I also had a few different groups that I did for self-enrichment and a few friends that I occasionally went to drinks with- these were essential for keeping me connected and grounded.

I always knew that I was living on the edge. My income was just barely enough. And I always felt like I was juggling and could be dropping balls. Maybe I lived with too much stress. 

​But I had a sense of purpose and focus and dedication. I believed in my ability to do this, and in the value of what I was offering. I could see how my art touched the deep tender places of my audience in the craft shows. I could feel the sense of relief and joy as my students got their hands in clay. And I trusted that just getting into the studio, I would know what to do and I could get some interesting things to come out of my own hands.

I am saying it all in past tense- and that is not fair. I have not given up. It is not over. But when it all got put on pause with the pandemic- I went into a kind of foggy frustrating place- not able to get a grip on anything solid- and the escape route of netflix lured me in. It is a serious time suck! And I have to say it did not make me feel better- I felt horrible!

I am sure you can identify- things have had to change because of the pandemic

For creatives who have built their lives in a patchwork way- it is a complete restructuring!

So this is what I want to offer by way of lessons learned:

1. Get off the couch!!! turn the thing off and get outside- I don't care if it is midnight- go out!

2. connection is still essential- taking walks while talking on cell phone works wonders. And zoom games of dictionary are fun if you are a geek like me. Also socially distant gatherings rock!

3. Structure is necessary- as this thing extends hopefully you have found some ways to create structure in your days and weeks. Setting clear time frames for making art is key- and hard to do for those of us who can get pulled in a million directions. virtual co-working with a buddy or group is very helpful. (I am offering a free co-working time on Tuesdays from 8-10 am. You can also set it up with a buddy and there are many platforms on line at this point)

4. If you have kids- finding a way to set time where you are both working on art is good- and a way for her to be occupied with on-line friends or pod friends.

5. feeling useful- find some way to be involved in something bigger than yourself. Activism, school planning, anti-racism study groups- whatever is important to you!

6. Practice kindness- toward yourself, your family, everyone you come into contact with. We have to forgive ourselves for our transgressions so that we do not live in anger and frustration. So forgive as quickly as you can and move on with love and compassion. 

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